Between now and the last update, not much happened besides a few new prescriptions to manage my heightened symptoms and to prepare myself for chemo (pain medication, cough suppressant inhaler, a few different nausea medications, migraine medication), and an emergency CT Scan last Friday (07/22) that was required for the study doctors. Symptoms had been getting worse, including weakness and pain surrounding my joints, persistent cough, and most especially the return of shortness of breath that seems to escalate as the night goes on to the point where at points I felt a few breathes away from suffocation. And all these things combined made for a difficult time falling asleep.
I can happily report that today (07/26) I have started my treatment in the Picasso study. Despite the wait to get hooked up and the few times I was required to lie down briefly for an EKG (lying down flat only causes the mass to press against my air passages making breathing very difficult), the actual treatment was smooth sailing. I was given Doxorubicin, which I would be given any way, and the experimental drug Palifosfamide (or placebo) which is similar to a drug I'd be taking outside of the study, it just has less side effects.
I go back to continue dosages tomorrow and Friday morning (07/27 - 28) and that will complete cycle one. So far I haven't experienced any uncomfortable side effects, but I'm told those will come when all the dosages are administered.
Even though I anticipated it, I was still scared and anxious about the whole process but it was alleviated as soon as all of you have shown tremendous support. I'm glad I'm finally on a road to possible remission, and I'm especially glad I have so many people I care about by my side.
Justin
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers. We all want the very best for you.
Justin: Please let me share a commentary from Michael Josephson. One of my old scoutmaster minutes. Please do not read any thing in to it but my best wishes to help you and for your successful recovery.
ReplyDeleteRefuse to Be Afraid 733.1 From Michael Josephson
"Tim Wrightman, a former All-American UCLA football player, tells a story about how, as a rookie lineman in the National Football League, he was up against the legendary pass rusher Lawrence Taylor. Taylor was not only physically powerful and uncommonly quick but a master at verbal intimidation.
Looking young Tim in the eye, he said, “Sonny, get ready. I’m going to the left and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Wrightman coolly responded, “Sir, is that your left or mine?”
The question froze Taylor long enough to allow Wrightman to throw a perfect block on him.
It’s amazing what we can accomplish if we refuse to be afraid. Fear – whether it’s of pain, failure, or rejection – is a toxic emotion that creates monsters in our mind that consume self-confidence and intimidate us from doing our best or sometimes even trying at all.
As a law professor, I saw scores of capable students fail the bar exam, not because they didn’t know enough but because their anxiety hindered their ability to remember or coherently express what they did know.
For most law graduates, passing the bar exam should be no more difficult than walking across a board 20 feet long and two feet wide. The trouble is, they don’t walk normally because they’re intimidated by the illusion that the board is suspended 100 feet in the air and that getting across is a life-or-death matter. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Embarrassment, inconvenience, and expense – but none of these is fatal.
Perspective is an antidote to fear. Most things you fear will never happen, and even if they do, you can handle it."
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.